30 Lessons and Life Hacks learnt along the way to being 30

1.Prioritize comfort over style, especially when it comes to shoes and bags

Wear comfortable shoes and carry comfortable bags that do not hurt your shoulder/neck/arms. The amount of damage women inflict on themselves through continuous use of uncomfortable footwear and bags is unbelievable. I work in the financial district in London (read Suit Central) and carry my laptop in a backpack. I also wear trainers until I get into work and then change into ballerinas. No one cares. In the past, I’ve pressurised myself into stuffing my laptop into handbags with thin straps that provided no support to the shoulders just because I didn’t want to look dorky at work carrying something that didn’t scream Decade’s Most Stylish Women in Corporate. I learnt it the hard way that none of it is worth it. You won’t get promoted based on your bag and shoes, neither will you be able to forge sustainable friendships on that basis. We don’t live in that world anymore and I thank my stars for that.

2. Have a financial plan

This is crucial, and it is surprising how many people don’t care much about it. Planning out your finances and ensuring that a) you don’t spend all your money; b) you don’t keep all your money in a savings account that doesn’t give you great returns; c) you don’t put all your eggs in the same (investment) basket (for example — all in real estate or all in the stock market) is going to be a complete game-changer for you in the future.

3. Start taking data privacy seriously and do not have the same password for everything

Take two seconds more and learn to opt out or manage cookies. Stop clicking on ‘Accept All’ just because it is easier to do that. The actual ramifications are more serious than we know.

Also, an unusually high number of us have the same password for everything that requires a password. There is no bigger security risk that we can put ourselves into than this. However difficult it is to remember, we need to make an effort and have different passwords for emails, social media, e-commerce, banks and financial services etc. If you plan on noting it down, it is best to record this in an disguised manner. For example, if your password is your sister’s details i.e., Susan1078 and you want to note this down in your diary or phone, it is safer to record it in a manner that only you will understand and just sufficient information to jog your memory, such as banking password is sibling’s name and birth credentials.

4. Stop being a people pleaser

We cannot make everyone around us happy. Repeat this in your head until you finally start applying it. Just be a decent human and people should be pleased with that. I had a phase in life where what others thought of me mattered much more to me than what I thought of myself. It led to me going on a downward spiral of constantly trying to keep everyone happy and failing spectacularly because someone was always disappointed with what I chose to do and speak about. It was perhaps one of the most stressful phases of my life. Once I convinced myself to accept the harsh reality that I cannot please everyone, I felt like I’d been freed of invisible shackles.

5. Automate/simplify chores that you don’t enjoy

Pick 3 life-admin tasks that you dread doing and try to find ways to simplify those using technology or any other ways that either don’t require you to do it altogether or makes it easier for you to do. For example, I don’t enjoy chopping vegetables (onions, in particular) and so I bought myself a very simple, compact chopper that does the job for me.

6. Starting your day early is life-changing

By early, I don’t mean 4 am or even 5 am. I mean at least 6 or 7 am, which is completely doable even if you sleep at 11 pm. You’d be amazed at how much you’re able to get done if you wake up early. Waking up after 8 am will make most of us feel lethargic, and we often won’t be able to get much done.

7. Invest in a paper shredder

I’ll admit that I haven’t got around to buying myself one yet but I plan to do so very soon. Paper shredders are more important and handier than we’d expect. It helps us protect our personal data so that no one can flick through our trash and use our data for creating a false identity or simply for selling to marketers. Same goes for the receiver’s name and address stickers on your parcels — ensure you destroy the information before disposing the boxes. Plus, a paper shredder will maximise your bin’s capacity to hold trash as well.

8. Call your grandparents

Grandparents belong to the generation that truly appreciates phone-calls and letters and yet they’re probably the people we rarely call. They’re not going to be around forever, so take the time out periodically to speak with them. They will be genuinely thrilled.

9. Think before buying white sneakers

White sneakers have been the rage for a few years now. I hardly know people, especially women, who don’t own a pair of white sneakers/trainers. However, before you jump onto this bandwagon or any bandwagon of the kind, it’s best to take a moment to analyse your lifestyle. Do you use public transport? Do you live in a city that receives a lot of rainfall, making the roads muddy? Would you be able to dedicate the time needed to maintain a pair of white footwear in its original colour i.e., pristine white? The last thing we should be wearing is a pair of murky yellow (formerly white) shoes. So, think before you buy.

10. There is no shame in reading fiction

Many years ago, I found myself in social circles where people seemed to read only non-fiction. Anyone seemingly intelligent also seemingly read only non-fiction books. I even met individuals who scoffed if you spoke about your current reading list and it happened to include more fiction than non-fiction. For years I forced myself to read more non-fiction, most of which I didn’t quite enjoy, just to fit into certain circles. Not anymore. I’ve finally realised that there is absolutely no shame in reading fiction. Reading is an activity that should take you to a happy place mentally and ignite/inspire your imagination. You should read whatever makes you feel content.

11. Invest time into gifting

This is perhaps the most underrated yet gratifying act that we often overlook. Gifting well and appropriately can truly make someone feel special and would also make them remember you fondly for many years. Gifting is an art, but it isn’t the kind of art that only few can master. If you take time out to understand the personality of the loved one that you’re buying a gift for, it makes buying/creating gifts an easy task and a pleasurable experience for oneself as much as for the recipient.

12. Learn to utilise vertical space and organise better

Being in a cluttered room is the greatest bar to achieving clarity of thought. As one edges closer to the 30s, it helps to become more organised, symbolising a philosophical step into adulthood (and stepping away from the messy, chaotic years of the past). But this phase of life also means many of us don’t live in large homes and don’t have a lot of space. That is exactly where using vertical spaces to organise becomes a life-saving hack. Try it and you’ll feel the difference.

13. Avoid buying a holiday wardrobe

Don’t we all have clothes we bought just because we thought we needed some new ones for a particular holiday and then never wore it again? Well, stepping into the 30s should also mean that we think twice before making impulse purchases, especially of clothes that we are rarely likely to wear more than once in our lifetime. This helps keep closets and shelves manageable and also ensures your money isn’t being spent wastefully.

14. Try doing activities alone occasionally, such as watching a play, going to a museum etc.

The first time you do this, it would seem odd but at the end of that activity, it will also feel strangely cathartic, and you would want to do it again. It doesn’t have to be an entire day spent without meeting friends and family; it just means doing just about enough to convince your mind that you are not dependent on others for your happiness.

15. Learn handyman basics

I’ll admit that I have not learnt all essential handyman basics yet, but it is on top of my list of skills of achieve. It comes in very handy (no pun intended), especially if you live in a city/country where it neither easy to find a handyman to take on small repairs and refurbishments nor cost-effective to find such a person. Also, it is an ego-boost to be able to be quite self-sufficient at handling most challenges.

16. Invite people home for a casual evening

Late 20s/early 30s is that weird age where many of us might be over the crazy house-parties phase but apprehensive of getting into the formal dinner with monogrammed napkins and silverware phase and therefore, just avoid calling people over altogether. But it doesn’t have to be either extreme. Once in a while and if you have the space for it, call your friends and loved ones (the kind with whom you love hanging out and the ones who don’t care about mismatched dinnerware) home for a simple meal, some dancing/movie-watching and/or board games. Sure, you will be left with some cleaning to get through once your guests leave but the day will leave you with a warm, satisfied feeling in your heart.

17. Have a more sustainable and conscious lifestyle

I read labels, ingredients and if possible, even brand beliefs before making purchases and encourage everyone else to also try doing this. We should also attempt to minimise or offset our carbon footprint as much as possible — do simple research on the ways to make this happen. Make yourself aware of the myriad consequences of the way we choose to live our lives and consciously try to leave a better planet behind for the generations to come.

18. Do not bury yourself in loans and debts

Most of us at this stage will have some form of debt be that education, car or housing loans. The idea is to ensure that we don’t bite more than we can chew. At the end of each month, our expenses should not exceed our income and our debts should not be at an extent that gives us sleepless nights.

19. Reduce expectations of people

People are different. We know this but we need to accept it once and for all. We cannot stack up our expectations of the way people should behave like a pile of laundry. We will be disappointed if we do, and it is not fair to the people in our life. Always keep expectations low and be pleasantly surprised.

20. Do at least one unusual thing in your life that can be a great party story

If you’ve haven’t done any unique thing in your adulthood that either makes you proud or amuses you by the time you’ve reached your 30s, now is the time to do it. Life is too short to keep it mundane.

21. Try not to be too rigid with beliefs and opinions

In the age of social media, it is particularly easy to get swept up by a tidal wave of information (both true and false) and form very rigid opinions of people and situations based on what may not be the complete story. While it is never bad to have strong opinions, taking it to the point of rigidity would mean we’ve shut the doors to a process of learning. Being open to different opinions helps build a more informed and patient personality.

22. Start taking care of your emotional hygiene

Guy Winch has this great Ted Talk on emotional hygiene. We need to give our mind a break and we need to give it time to heal. I’ve realised that one of the many ways to do that is to take a ‘Me’ day occasionally wherein the entire day you only do activities that please, relax and rejuvenate you (this is tough if you have small children, but try asking a loved one to care for them while you take some time out for yourself).

23. You don’t have to be in a relationship just because everyone else is in one

People in or edging towards their 30s constantly feel under pressure to find love or be in some form of romantic relationship, mainly because everyone around them is in one and they don’t want to be the odd one out. That is a terrible reason to be with someone. You know it too.

24. Pass compliments freely

Compliment people, including strangers, at every possible opportunity. It makes their day and in turn, gets some good karma coming along your way.

25. Whenever possible, donate to street artists/museums etc.

Free museums and street artists survive mainly on donations. If you’ve reached a comfortable financial position and can spare some money once in a while for museums and street artists to appreciate their efforts to preserve and promote creative and performing arts, please consider donating.

26. If social media agitates you, get off it

If you feel that social media has a negative impact on your mental and social well-being (and by the time you’re 30, you should be able to determine this yourself), then don’t be on it. Either take a break or get off it permanently. No one will miss you (unless you’re an influencer) and trust me when I say, it makes such a massive difference to your overall well-being.

27. Take multivitamin supplements or include natural sources of it in your diet

Oft ignored but very essential aspect to growing older is to ensure that our body gets sufficient vitamins to keep it healthy. If you have no time to do the plate method on a regular basis, then take supplements.

28. Have goals but do not have unrealistic timelines

Many of us seem to have a bucket list of things to do before turning a certain age. If you’re like me, then you’d probably have sleepless nights thinking about not having achieved some or many of the things you put down on that arbitrary list. In fact, one of the reasons I’ve been bitter at the Covid19 pandemic is because I blame it for taking two years of my life (my 20s, to be precise) and by extension ensuring that I couldn’t pursue some of my goals linked to timelines. I’ve realised now that I cannot have unrealistic timelines to achieve my personal goals. Our journey to achieving a personal goal should be an experience of joy despite the struggle. Impractical timelines will set you up for failure regardless of any other factor. So be kind to yourself and enjoy the process as much as you’d like to enjoy the end result.

29. Dance

No explanations here. Just dance. In public, in private, wherever. Just dance.

30. Community over competition

Everything in life is not a competition and everyone is not someone over whom we need to plan a victory. Always look at the larger picture and do what you think would benefit more people or result in a greater good. Never underestimate the power of kindness and collaboration. It can get you and others around you what each of you want and need. So, choose community over competition. Always.